This article inspired by my own bitching over the last few months, and catalyzed into action (and word) by Soup's new cartoon over at Lethal Doses that just kinda sums up how I've been feeling about games other than Black & White.

ARGH! Why, oh why must they do these things to me? To say the least I'm getting a little fed up of being teased by game publishers. Teased I say! Tormented by screenshots that I want to make sweet, sweet love to..... IRC and forum posts that make me swear off sleep, and drive hundreds of miles to worship at the dev team's front door, until the police drag me away in handcuffs.

What else could I want you ask? THE GAME MAN! THE DAMNED GAME!

So many games are doing this these days. And not just games! Hardware companies release "demos" of what their product can do...... Months before the product even exists in their labs!! (*cough*3dfx*cough*)

Tribes 2. Diablo 2. Duke Nukem Fornever. Halo. Team Fortress 2. Sacrifice. Warcraft III. The list goes on.

I can't think of any other industry where something like this occurs. Now don't get me wrong, I LIKE having an idea of whats coming up in the next little while. Give me something to buy hardware for, and something to look forward to in my dreary little existance. BUT! It's just not fair to tease for that amount of time, and it's starting to go too far. I've been looking at movies from Team Fortress 2 for well over a year now, slobbering more and more.

You know? Movies like these examples of pant wetting game play.

Combo Tank Ammo Voices

It seems that ever single issue of PCGamer (PCLamer, but getting MUCH better and more tastelessly sarcastic due to the addition of Ex-PCXL staffers! Woot!) for the longest time has contained at least SOMETHING about the newest changes for TF2. Hell, the screenshots and demos make it look like the game will be ready to ship this morning. But still no game, and no release date. (Or rather a release date that KEEPS getting pushed back. I believe the original date was with Half Life 2 years ago) Valve has mostly escaped my wrath due to Counter-Strike (Not their doing, but at least they did the engine for it.) as well as the free release of Team Fortress Classic, which was damned nice of them. Still, one would think that if they had of kept the guys who did up that one working on the new one, it'd be done already........

And so we wait and wait. Drooling. Dreaming of pitching tasty grenades into enemy armored vehicles.

Diablo 2 got pushed back, and really wasn't worth the wait. I'm not sure what the dev team was doing with their spare time, but it sure wasn't fixing bugs. More of the same. Decent game, but not worth the months of hype and adverts we saw everywhere.

Duke Nukem Forever, the sequel to what was likely my most loved shooter of all time up to Tribes has been held indefinately. A few screenshots here and there to keep us entertained.... I know these guys did the original, which was positively brilliant in my opinion, and if I can be blasphemous for just a moment, a hellofalot better than Quake I. BUT STILL! Get your asses in gear, stop releasing Pray Station games and get the damned PC game done! ARGH! At least 3D Realms is releasing it "When it's done", rather than "When it's still pre-alpha" like so many companies seem to do these days. (See my rant on Companies Releasing Shit Games (tm) for my opinion on this practice.) I still have respect for them due to this fact, and the kickassness of DN1.

Halo. The sweetest looking 3D Shooter in a long time has been sitting around not quite as long as some of our other candidates... But Ohhhhhhhhhhh.. the movies. Makes the game, again look done... But then.. No game... then rumors about the Xbox buyout of Bungie by Microsoft..... Rumors that Halo would never see the light of day on the PC or Mac. Rumors that took FOREVER for Bungie to report as false. (Thanks for the stress guys!) Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....But the adverts, screenshots and movies roll on... No release date. *Sigh*

Diakatana. Much hillarity ensues at the mear mention of this little piece of work. Had to have been the biggest giggle in gaming history. Then after millions of dollars and years of setbacks, and quite a few dev teams, the game is released...... And it sucks ass completely, truly and 100%. Yech. A perfect example of why hype sucks. My hopes were up, even after all this time. For more details, read the tragic story of my journey into John Romero's world of time traveling kungfu pimps.

Another Romero Cartoon

Tribes 2. The most anticipated game since the release of Pong. Just got pushed back today. The agony I'm feeling here is simply beyond compare. Tribes 1 SO good. Movies so orgasmic, Game so not on my desktop being played to death and beyond.

Black & White. Possibly one of the most original and certainly the sweetest looking strategy/god games to ever grace the earth. Delayed. Again. Ack.

Anyhows. To sum up. Hand over the games. Stop teasing me, you heartless bitches. (Just don't release the game too early either I want it perfect! I like it both ways, and you're damned if you do.. And damned if you don't!)