article inspired by my own bitching over the last few months,
and catalyzed into action (and word) by Soup's new
cartoon over at Lethal Doses that just kinda sums up how
I've been feeling about games other than Black & White.
Why, oh why must they do these things to me? To say the least
I'm getting a little fed up of being teased by game publishers.
Teased I say! Tormented by screenshots that I want to make
sweet, sweet love to..... IRC and forum posts that make me
swear off sleep, and drive hundreds of miles to worship at
the dev team's front door, until the police drag me away in
else could I want you ask? THE GAME MAN! THE DAMNED GAME!
many games are doing this these days. And not just games!
Hardware companies release "demos" of what their
product can do...... Months before the product even exists
in their labs!! (*cough*3dfx*cough*)
2. Diablo 2. Duke Nukem Fornever. Halo. Team Fortress 2. Sacrifice.
Warcraft III. The list goes on.
can't think of any other industry where something like this
occurs. Now don't get me wrong, I LIKE having an idea of whats
coming up in the next little while. Give me something to buy
hardware for, and something to look forward to in my dreary
little existance. BUT! It's just not fair to tease for that
amount of time, and it's starting to go too far. I've been
looking at movies from Team Fortress 2 for well over a year
now, slobbering more and more.
know? Movies like these examples of pant wetting game play.
seems that ever single issue of PCGamer (PCLamer, but getting
MUCH better and more tastelessly sarcastic due to the addition
of Ex-PCXL staffers! Woot!) for the longest time has contained
at least SOMETHING about the newest changes for TF2. Hell,
the screenshots and demos make it look like the game will
be ready to ship this morning. But still no game, and no release
date. (Or rather a release date that KEEPS getting pushed
back. I believe the original date was with Half Life 2 years
ago) Valve has mostly escaped my wrath due to Counter-Strike
(Not their doing, but at least they did the engine for it.)
as well as the free release of Team Fortress Classic, which
was damned nice of them. Still, one would think that if they
had of kept the guys who did up that one working on the new
one, it'd be done already........
so we wait and wait. Drooling. Dreaming of pitching tasty
grenades into enemy armored vehicles.
2 got pushed back, and really wasn't worth the wait. I'm not
sure what the dev team was doing with their spare time, but
it sure wasn't fixing bugs. More of the same. Decent game,
but not worth the months of hype and adverts we saw everywhere.
Nukem Forever, the sequel to what was likely my most loved
shooter of all time up to Tribes has been held indefinately.
A few screenshots here and there to keep us entertained....
I know these guys did the original, which was positively brilliant
in my opinion, and if I can be blasphemous for just a moment,
a hellofalot better than Quake I. BUT STILL! Get your asses
in gear, stop releasing Pray Station games and get the damned
PC game done! ARGH! At least 3D Realms is releasing it "When
it's done", rather than "When it's still pre-alpha"
like so many companies seem to do these days. (See my
rant on Companies Releasing Shit Games (tm) for my opinion
on this practice.) I still have respect for them due to this
fact, and the kickassness of DN1.
The sweetest looking 3D Shooter in a long time has been sitting
around not quite as long as some of our other candidates...
But Ohhhhhhhhhhh.. the movies. Makes the game, again look
done... But then.. No game... then rumors about the Xbox buyout
of Bungie by Microsoft..... Rumors that Halo would never see
the light of day on the PC or Mac. Rumors that took FOREVER
for Bungie to report as false. (Thanks for the stress guys!)
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....But the adverts, screenshots and movies
roll on... No release date. *Sigh*
hillarity ensues at the mear mention of this little piece
of work. Had to have been the biggest giggle in gaming history.
Then after millions of dollars and years of setbacks, and
quite a few dev teams, the game is released...... And it sucks
ass completely, truly and 100%. Yech. A perfect example of
why hype sucks. My hopes were up, even after all this time.
For more details, read the tragic
story of my journey into John Romero's world of time traveling
2. The most anticipated game since the release of Pong.
Just got pushed back today. The agony I'm feeling here is
simply beyond compare. Tribes 1 SO good. Movies so orgasmic,
Game so not on my desktop being played to death and beyond.
& White. Possibly one of the most original and certainly
the sweetest looking strategy/god games to ever grace the
earth. Delayed. Again. Ack.
To sum up. Hand over the games. Stop teasing me, you heartless
bitches. (Just don't release the game too early either I want
it perfect! I like it both ways, and you're damned if you
do.. And damned if you don't!)